I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
