Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
