I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize