Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
