shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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