No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
