? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
