have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
