Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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