Pants 0. Shit 1.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
