yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
