never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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