its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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