It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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