at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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