I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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