i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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