apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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