my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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