yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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