Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
