Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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