The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
