used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
