I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
