I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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