To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
