This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
