It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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