It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
