just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
