I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
