I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize