He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my shit smells like andre
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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