no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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