Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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