So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
