So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
