I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
vagina is talking i cant
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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