This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
