we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
