i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The adults are the big ones right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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