There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
