I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
