my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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