Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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