you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
