Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
