Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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