I am in a vortex of obligation.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
