Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
