I want to have your abortion
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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