it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
