Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
