I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
