marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
