just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
