Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
