I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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