I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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