Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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