At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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