If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
